just the rambling thoughts of a fool on the hill


2006 State of the Universe Address
Swami Beyondananda

Swami Calls for an Up-Wising

The Evolution Has Begun!

For years now, we've been hearing "shift happens," and wondering

when, where and how. Now finally, it looks as if the shift is about

to hit the fan. This is good news for all those shift fans who've

been wondering if the new age will arrive before old age does. Of

course, if you're looking for signs in the news, you won't find them.

At least, not yet. The news might as well be called the "olds,"

because the world still seems stuck in greedlock, ruled by fossilized

fools fueled by fossil fuels. But I have been receiving encouraging

intelligence reports that say indeed, humans are becoming more

intelligent. Yes, people everywhere are wising up. And that's great,

because we could sure use an up-wising!

The evolution has begun. But before we see changes in the old

needy-greedy, we humans must change our consciousness -- and the

first step is becoming conscious of how unconscious we've been. As

the saying goes, the truth shall upset you free, and last year saw

lots of disillusionment. But what better to free us from the far more

dangerous condition of illusionment? If we want to stop the abuse of

power, the first step is to disabuse ourselves. So, here's some good

news: Despite a massive media impropaganda machine that feeds the

public "babblum" (strained bullshit made digestible for a simple

child's mind), more and more Americans are reading between the lyins'

and peering behind the Irony Curtain.

In 2005, Americans had to face the sad realization that the Bush

Administration's "pro-life" stance appears to be limited to the

unborn and the brain-dead. Despite being panned by critics

everywhere, the Iraqi Horror Picture Show continued its run, as

thousands and thousands of born fetuses - ours and theirs -- lost

their right to life. While we may or may not have saved face by

staying there, we have most definitely lost ass. And we've been

assured we'll be stuck in that morass until -- well, until there's no

more ass to lose. Meanwhile, more and more Americans reached another

sad conclusion: We're not in Iraq to keep the peace, we're there to

keep the pieces.

The signs of up-wising are everywhere. Even the most unpleasant

stories are beginning to break through the soundless barrier and defy

the President's "don't ask, don't tell" policy: "You promise not to

ask us what we're doing, and we promise not to tell you." Although

we've been inundated with "fear-gnomes" and ominously warned we have

to protect ourselves in this dogma-eat-dogma world, a majority of

Americans are no longer comfortable with the notion that the only way

to defeat the "evil-doers" in the world is to out evil-do them.

Although our President has assured us that "we don't torture," it is

now common knowledge that we simply send detainees to countries that

do torture when we want them to "testify under oaf."

As for those progressives who've been whining that the President

"never listens" to them, well it turns out he's been listening all

along. And thanks to the so-called Patriot Act (which, I understand,

is about to be renamed the Eternal Insecurity Act), it looks like

he'll be able to listen in even more -- all in the name of making us

safe. But now even some Republicans are beginning to see that there's

a difference between protection and the "protection racket." And with

the recent revelations about Tom DeLay, Jack Abramoff and other gold

collar criminals, some of the more devout conservatives have come to

realize that the "family values" they voted for bear an uncanny

resemblance to Soprano Family values.

If there was any warm feeling in 2005, chalk it up to climate change.

Katrina hit, and in the government's response we saw a future when at

last all Americans will be equal -- where everyone regardless of race

or creed will be treated like Black folks.

Alarming Policies Have Awakened Millions!

Fortunately this is the State of the Universe Address, and from a

universal perspective, things are humming along quite nicely. It

turns out that the Earth is the talk of the Universe these days. In

fact, the odds-makers at the Intergalactic Enquirer say the odds are

actually in our favor: "We're betting on the human race to reach

critical mass before they get to critical massacre." And we could

beat the odds, if we finally gave up our addiction to getting even

and got odd instead. It stands to reason. If each of us used our

unique oddness to improve the odds for everyone, there would be no

need for getting even.

Yes, the up-wising has begun, and intergalactic observers are saying

that we have none other than George W. Bush to thank. How is that,

you may ask?

Well, I am reminded of a story my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to tell.

A well-known minister died and arrived at the Pearly Gates at the

same time as a cab-driver from New York. The cabbie was ushered in,

but the clergyman was left waiting outside. After waiting and waiting

and waiting, he finally called over the attending angel. "Excuse me,

but I'm a renowned minister. How come you let that cab-driver in, and

I'm left waiting out here?"

"Well," the angel said, "when you preached, everyone slept. But when

he drove, everyone prayed."

For millennia, spiritual teachers have been calling on us to go for

the highest common denominator, but we've always seemed to end up

with the lowest common dominator instead. And now, George W. Bush has

done what preachers, teachers and other far-sighted visionaries have

failed to do up until now: His policies have been so alarming, that

he has awakened a slumbering body politic that slept through all

previous alarms. Where others have failed, he has people all across

the world praying, "God help us!"

And instead of waiting for an intervention from above

-- after all, we cannot expect to be fed intervenously forever --

people are beginning to help themselves, and even more importantly,

help each other.

Sure, there are still plenty of Not-Sees out there who insist on not

seeing that we humans are all in the same boat. The good news is,

more and more Americans are getting that sinking feeling that there's

only one Earthship, and ignoring a leak because it's "on the other

side of the boat," is a mistake of titanic proportions.

We Are the Leaders We've Been Waiting For

America, the world's only super-power, doesn't need a revolution.

We've already had one, thank you. What is needed now -- and what has

already begun -- is the American Evolution where enough of us wake up

and see that those two political parties have been partying on our

dime, and we the people haven't been invited. Time to go beyond

choosing the lesser of two weasels. If we want to evolve the dream of

our Founding Fathers -- instead of devolve into the nightmare of Big


-- we must become the leaders we've been waiting for.

I've said it before. The only force more powerful than a super-power

is a Super-Duper Power -- the power of the people plus the power of

love. And anyone who doesn't believe we are a Super-Duper Power, well

they have been super-duped!

It's true, many people still feel that the affairs of the world

should be left to the bolder and badder among us. But look what that

leaves us with: Are you satisfied choosing between Saddam Hussein and

George Who's-Not-Sane? Now I know those "God, guns and guts"

Old Testament Christians might have forgotten, but Jesus did say that

the meek shall inherit the earth.

In all undue immodesty, maybe it's time for us meek folks to boldly

step forth and accept our inheritance.

For just as 2000 years ago Jesus stood up to a class that placed the

rule of gold above the Golden Rule, today we face the modern version

of the Pharisees -- the Phallusees, I think they are called. They

cynically cloak themselves in religious robes, but the only power

they trust is the power of the stick. Well, there's another old

saying: It doesn't matter how big your stick is, if you stick your

stick where it doesn't belong, you're stuck.

Another sign of the up-wising and coming evolution is that people are

growing dissatisfied with the positionality of "my side vs. your

side," and are seeing the whole issue of sides from a new angle:

Maybe we're all on the same side. For example, this argument between

creationism and evolution is just another way for dueling dualities

to steal our energy.

I believe in both. I believe the Creator created us to evolve,

otherwise Jesus would have said, "Now don't do a thing till I

return." I have it on good authority that the Creator is pulling for

us: "Come on, you children of God. Time to grow up and become adults

of God instead."

Time to Overgrow the System From the Grassroots Up

The time for revolution and overthrowing has past. Now we need an

evolution where we "overgrow" the current dysfunctional system from

the grassroots up. You are probably familiar with the story of the

Native American grandfather who tells his grandson that there are two

wolves fighting inside all of us: The wolf of fear and anger, and the

wolf of love and peace.

"Which wolf will win?" asks the young boy.

"Whichever one we feed," replies the grandfather.

And so when people ask me to predict what will happen, I tell them

the only thing I can predict with certainty is the uncertainty of any

prediction. The future's just too unpredictable these days. This is a

Universe of infinite possibilities, so it all depends on which

futures we invest in.

There is something far more empowerful than predictions, and that is

Tell-A-Vision. If you're fed up with the current programming, my

advice is turn off your TV and tell a vision instead. That way, we

will have healing and functional visions to step into -- and that

beats what we've been stepping into. So I will tell my vision for

2006: This is the year of the American Evolution, where all those who

prefer the Golden Rule to the rule of gold get past left and right,

and come front and center.

I see Americans of all political stripes, plaids and polka dots (not

to mention solids), choosing to face the music and dance together.

Sure, we'll have to learn some new steps, but it's time for a new

dance - A-Bun-Dance. That is where we get up off our assets, move our

buns, and dance together in rhythm and flow.

And what better way to turn the funk into function, and leave the

junk at the junction?

I see us in a new reality show -- Extreme Planetary Makeover -- where

everyone can play and everyone can win. Just think. Something more

compelling than reality TV ... it's called reality!

I know, I know. Only a crazy person would dare to propose anything

that sane. But maybe it's time to declare the current

institutionalized insanity illegally insane, and set about building a

sane asylum big enough for all six and a half billion of us. As my

guru Harry Cohen Baba has said, "Life is like a good deli. Even if

something isn't on the menu, if enough people order it they have to

make it." So what kind of new world order are we ordering up? Do we

feed the wolf of fear and buy into the "it's every man for himself"

story? Or do we nourish the wolf of love and evolve into the "we're

all in it together" story?

If we're going to be a Super-Duper Power, we have to be super-duper

powerful in activating the power of love, and cultivating the power

of joy. So laugh more.

Why not? We all know there's something funny going on.

The wall of lies cannot withstand the vibration of laughter. All

seriousness aside, only a farce field that combines truth and

laughter can bring down the Irony Curtain once and for all.

Release the old story -- been there, done that -- and speak the new

story into the world. Dare to imagine what we could be doing if we

weren't spending so much of our livelihood on weapons of deadlihood.

Think about it ... think tanks where they think about something other

than tanks. Young people living for their country instead of dying

for it. Health and education fully funded, and the Air Force having

to run a bake sale so they can buy a new bomber.

Can we change the course of history? Can we shift our karma into

surpassing gear? I cannot say for sure, but if we choose to give up

that old Dodge and trade it in for an Evolvo, that's a good first

step. So ... let the Evolution begin. We don't have to wait until the

first Big Shot is fired. If we create a powerful enough field, the

Big Shots will end up firing themselves.

May the FARCE -- as always -- be with us.

(c) Copyright 2006 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Find out

more about the Swami at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/




Dabney Rose

I don't ride to be one of the boys!


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