2006 State of the Universe
Swami Calls for an Up-Wising
The Evolution Has Begun!
For years now, we've been hearing
"shift happens," and wondering
when, where and how. Now finally,
it looks as if the shift is about
to hit the fan. This is good
news for all those shift fans who've
been wondering if the new age
will arrive before old age does. Of
course, if you're looking for
signs in the news, you won't find them.
At least, not yet. The news might
as well be called the "olds,"
because the world still seems
stuck in greedlock, ruled by fossilized
fools fueled by fossil fuels.
But I have been receiving encouraging
intelligence reports that say
indeed, humans are becoming more
intelligent. Yes, people everywhere
are wising up. And that's great,
because we could sure use an
The evolution has begun. But
before we see changes in the old
needy-greedy, we humans must
change our consciousness -- and the
first step is becoming conscious
of how unconscious we've been. As
the saying goes, the truth shall
upset you free, and last year saw
lots of disillusionment. But
what better to free us from the far more
dangerous condition of illusionment?
If we want to stop the abuse of
power, the first step is to disabuse
ourselves. So, here's some good
news: Despite a massive media
impropaganda machine that feeds the
public "babblum" (strained
bullshit made digestible for a simple
child's mind), more and more
Americans are reading between the lyins'
and peering behind the Irony
In 2005, Americans had to face
the sad realization that the Bush
stance appears to be limited to the
unborn and the brain-dead. Despite
being panned by critics
everywhere, the Iraqi Horror
Picture Show continued its run, as
thousands and thousands of born
fetuses - ours and theirs -- lost
their right to life. While we
may or may not have saved face by
staying there, we have most definitely
lost ass. And we've been
assured we'll be stuck in that
morass until -- well, until there's no
more ass to lose. Meanwhile,
more and more Americans reached another
sad conclusion: We're not in
Iraq to keep the peace, we're there to
keep the pieces.
The signs of up-wising are everywhere.
Even the most unpleasant
stories are beginning to break
through the soundless barrier and defy
the President's "don't ask,
don't tell" policy: "You promise not to
ask us what we're doing, and
we promise not to tell you." Although
we've been inundated with "fear-gnomes"
and ominously warned we have
to protect ourselves in this
dogma-eat-dogma world, a majority of
Americans are no longer comfortable
with the notion that the only way
to defeat the "evil-doers"
in the world is to out evil-do them.
Although our President has assured
us that "we don't torture," it is
now common knowledge that we
simply send detainees to countries that
do torture when we want them
to "testify under oaf."
As for those progressives who've
been whining that the President
"never listens" to
them, well it turns out he's been listening all
along. And thanks to the so-called
Patriot Act (which, I understand,
is about to be renamed the Eternal
Insecurity Act), it looks like
he'll be able to listen in even
more -- all in the name of making us
safe. But now even some Republicans
are beginning to see that there's
a difference between protection
and the "protection racket." And with
the recent revelations about
Tom DeLay, Jack Abramoff and other gold
collar criminals, some of the
more devout conservatives have come to
realize that the "family
values" they voted for bear an uncanny
resemblance to Soprano Family
If there was any warm feeling
in 2005, chalk it up to climate change.
Katrina hit, and in the government's
response we saw a future when at
last all Americans will be equal
-- where everyone regardless of race
or creed will be treated like
Alarming Policies Have Awakened
Fortunately this is the State
of the Universe Address, and from a
universal perspective, things
are humming along quite nicely. It
turns out that the Earth is the
talk of the Universe these days. In
fact, the odds-makers at the
Intergalactic Enquirer say the odds are
actually in our favor: "We're
betting on the human race to reach
critical mass before they get
to critical massacre." And we could
beat the odds, if we finally
gave up our addiction to getting even
and got odd instead. It stands
to reason. If each of us used our
unique oddness to improve the
odds for everyone, there would be no
need for getting even.
Yes, the up-wising has begun,
and intergalactic observers are saying
that we have none other than
George W. Bush to thank. How is that,
you may ask?
Well, I am reminded of a story
my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to tell.
A well-known minister died and
arrived at the Pearly Gates at the
same time as a cab-driver from
New York. The cabbie was ushered in,
but the clergyman was left waiting
outside. After waiting and waiting
and waiting, he finally called
over the attending angel. "Excuse me,
but I'm a renowned minister.
How come you let that cab-driver in, and
I'm left waiting out here?"
"Well," the angel said,
"when you preached, everyone slept. But when
he drove, everyone prayed."
For millennia, spiritual teachers
have been calling on us to go for
the highest common denominator,
but we've always seemed to end up
with the lowest common dominator
instead. And now, George W. Bush has
done what preachers, teachers
and other far-sighted visionaries have
failed to do up until now: His
policies have been so alarming, that
he has awakened a slumbering
body politic that slept through all
previous alarms. Where others
have failed, he has people all across
the world praying, "God
And instead of waiting for an
intervention from above
-- after all, we cannot expect
to be fed intervenously forever --
people are beginning to help
themselves, and even more importantly,
help each other.
Sure, there are still plenty
of Not-Sees out there who insist on not
seeing that we humans are all
in the same boat. The good news is,
more and more Americans are getting
that sinking feeling that there's
only one Earthship, and ignoring
a leak because it's "on the other
side of the boat," is a
mistake of titanic proportions.
We Are the Leaders We've Been
America, the world's only super-power,
doesn't need a revolution.
We've already had one, thank
you. What is needed now -- and what has
already begun -- is the American
Evolution where enough of us wake up
and see that those two political
parties have been partying on our
dime, and we the people haven't
been invited. Time to go beyond
choosing the lesser of two weasels.
If we want to evolve the dream of
our Founding Fathers -- instead
of devolve into the nightmare of Big
-- we must become the leaders
we've been waiting for.
I've said it before. The only
force more powerful than a super-power
is a Super-Duper Power -- the
power of the people plus the power of
love. And anyone who doesn't
believe we are a Super-Duper Power, well
they have been super-duped!
It's true, many people still
feel that the affairs of the world
should be left to the bolder
and badder among us. But look what that
leaves us with: Are you satisfied
choosing between Saddam Hussein and
George Who's-Not-Sane? Now I
know those "God, guns and guts"
Old Testament Christians might
have forgotten, but Jesus did say that
the meek shall inherit the earth.
In all undue immodesty, maybe
it's time for us meek folks to boldly
step forth and accept our inheritance.
For just as 2000 years ago Jesus
stood up to a class that placed the
rule of gold above the Golden
Rule, today we face the modern version
of the Pharisees -- the Phallusees,
I think they are called. They
cynically cloak themselves in
religious robes, but the only power
they trust is the power of the
stick. Well, there's another old
saying: It doesn't matter how
big your stick is, if you stick your
stick where it doesn't belong,
Another sign of the up-wising
and coming evolution is that people are
growing dissatisfied with the
positionality of "my side vs. your
side," and are seeing the
whole issue of sides from a new angle:
Maybe we're all on the same side.
For example, this argument between
creationism and evolution is
just another way for dueling dualities
to steal our energy.
I believe in both. I believe
the Creator created us to evolve,
otherwise Jesus would have said,
"Now don't do a thing till I
return." I have it on good
authority that the Creator is pulling for
us: "Come on, you children
of God. Time to grow up and become adults
of God instead."
Time to Overgrow the System From
the Grassroots Up
The time for revolution and overthrowing
has past. Now we need an
evolution where we "overgrow"
the current dysfunctional system from
the grassroots up. You are probably
familiar with the story of the
Native American grandfather who
tells his grandson that there are two
wolves fighting inside all of
us: The wolf of fear and anger, and the
wolf of love and peace.
"Which wolf will win?"
asks the young boy.
"Whichever one we feed,"
replies the grandfather.
And so when people ask me to
predict what will happen, I tell them
the only thing I can predict
with certainty is the uncertainty of any
prediction. The future's just
too unpredictable these days. This is a
Universe of infinite possibilities,
so it all depends on which
futures we invest in.
There is something far more empowerful
than predictions, and that is
Tell-A-Vision. If you're fed
up with the current programming, my
advice is turn off your TV and
tell a vision instead. That way, we
will have healing and functional
visions to step into -- and that
beats what we've been stepping
into. So I will tell my vision for
2006: This is the year of the
American Evolution, where all those who
prefer the Golden Rule to the
rule of gold get past left and right,
and come front and center.
I see Americans of all political
stripes, plaids and polka dots (not
to mention solids), choosing
to face the music and dance together.
Sure, we'll have to learn some
new steps, but it's time for a new
dance - A-Bun-Dance. That is
where we get up off our assets, move our
buns, and dance together in rhythm
And what better way to turn the
funk into function, and leave the
junk at the junction?
I see us in a new reality show
-- Extreme Planetary Makeover -- where
everyone can play and everyone
can win. Just think. Something more
compelling than reality TV ...
it's called reality!
I know, I know. Only a crazy
person would dare to propose anything
that sane. But maybe it's time
to declare the current
institutionalized insanity illegally
insane, and set about building a
sane asylum big enough for all
six and a half billion of us. As my
guru Harry Cohen Baba has said,
"Life is like a good deli. Even if
something isn't on the menu,
if enough people order it they have to
make it." So what kind of
new world order are we ordering up? Do we
feed the wolf of fear and buy
into the "it's every man for himself"
story? Or do we nourish the wolf
of love and evolve into the "we're
all in it together" story?
If we're going to be a Super-Duper
Power, we have to be super-duper
powerful in activating the power
of love, and cultivating the power
of joy. So laugh more.
Why not? We all know there's
something funny going on.
The wall of lies cannot withstand
the vibration of laughter. All
seriousness aside, only a farce
field that combines truth and
laughter can bring down the Irony
Curtain once and for all.
Release the old story -- been
there, done that -- and speak the new
story into the world. Dare to
imagine what we could be doing if we
weren't spending so much of our
livelihood on weapons of deadlihood.
Think about it ... think tanks
where they think about something other
than tanks. Young people living
for their country instead of dying
for it. Health and education
fully funded, and the Air Force having
to run a bake sale so they can
buy a new bomber.
Can we change the course of history?
Can we shift our karma into
surpassing gear? I cannot say
for sure, but if we choose to give up
that old Dodge and trade it in
for an Evolvo, that's a good first
step. So ... let the Evolution
begin. We don't have to wait until the
first Big Shot is fired. If we
create a powerful enough field, the
Big Shots will end up firing
May the FARCE -- as always --
be with us.
(c) Copyright 2006 by Steve Bhaerman.
All rights reserved. Find out
more about the Swami at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/